Halloween marks the end of the NFL trade deadline, and it looks like the warlock Bill Belichick used his dark magic in typical Hocus Pocus fashion to sell the soul of a mortal for a blessing from the devil. If you don’t read satanic manuscript, I’m referring to the Patriots trading Jimmy Garoppolo to the 49ers for San Francisco’s second round draft pick (which will probably be the 33rd or 34th overall).
This means Tom Brady, a 40-year old who is sustained only by Kale smoothies, will be sitting behind an offensive line that has underperformed compared to years past, WITHOUT A BACKUP. I don’t know about you, but that seems awfully fishy considering Belichick is one of the smartest coaches in the history of the game.
I believe this shocking trade can only mean one thing: Belichick sacrificed Garoppolo to the dark lord below in exchange for another 5-10 years of Brady domination. I mean look at Jimmy, he’s clearly a freaking stud, and we all know only virgins survive when they brush up against evil around Halloween. Belichick would never let his star quarterback go without a backup, especially with all the hits he has been taking unless he knew something we didn’t.
To conclude, if you have no solid quarterbacks you may be thinking about picking up Garoppolo because he is immediately filling a starting role and has shown flashes of success in the past, but don’t fall for it. The 49ers are a dumpster fire right now and you should take the time to see how he fits into that fire before you start playing him in your roster.
Now, for my best waiver-wire targets for Week 9!
JuJu Smith-Schuster, Pittsburgh Steelers WR
Although he is without a doubt already one of the coolest guys in the NFL, he is also becoming one of the best options for a WR2 in the league at the age of 20! Aside from his Super Saiyan touchdown celebrations and the antics involving his stolen bike, the young receiver has taken over the workload from Martavis Bryant and has caught four touchdowns this season.
While he only caught 17 passes for 231 yards over the first 7 games (33 yards per game), he broke out against the Lions with 7 receptions for 193 yards and a touchdown. It looks like Ben Roethlisberger is trusting him more and more so I treat him as a waiver priority this week, despite the fact the Steelers are on a bye.
Alex Collins, Baltimore Ravens RB
Collins has spent most of the season fighting for carries, but a calf injury to Terrance West means that Collins is going to continue to carry the ball with more volume. This is especially true due to a standout performance against the Dolphins, rushing for 113 yards on 18 carries. He should get about 12-15 carries per week moving forward, but is also likely to increase his receiving numbers after catching his first two receptions of the season against the Dolphins.
Raven’s coach John Harbaugh says the even after Kiko Alonso’s monster hit, Joe Flacco shows zero concussion symptoms, so don’t expect Collins to take over the entire offense in a week. Regardless, he is a hard-nosed running back that fought his way up a long Ravens depth chart after being cut by the Seahawks and should gain more carries as the season pushes into the home stretch.
Paul Richardson, Seattle Seahawks WR
Please, please, please let Russell Wilson throw the damn ball! The Seahawks showed in their shootout with the Texans that if you let Wilson get his arm going, he can put up points with the best of them. In fact, Wilson’s 452 passing yards made up 94% of the Seahawks total offense…that’s right, the only other offense was 6 rushing yards by J.D. McKissic and another 30 rushing yards from Wilson himself.
The running backs are clearly not up to the standard set by Beast Mode, and unless something drastic changes with the offensive line I can not see someone getting enough production to develop into the feature back.
Until then, Wilson will have to keep throwing the ball to keep the Hawks in games. While it is unlikely anyone will surpass Doug Baldwin as his most trusted target, Richardson has continued to improve his game and is cementing his spot in the offense.
He recorded six receptions for 105 yards and two touchdowns on six receptions against the Texans. Richardson showed incredible speed and hands that make him valuable in a team that must now abandon the running game and rely on their all-star quarterback.
Damien Williams and Kenyan Drake, Miami Dolphins RBs
The Dolphins made a huge deadline decision to trade away Jay Ajayi to the Eagles for a fourth-round pick, which creates a battle for touches in Miami’s backfield. Both Damien Williams and Kenyan Drake are the favorites to take the feature back spot, but the choice on who to pick up is not an easy one.
Damien Willams has more experience in the league and has shown receiving ability to help his credibility. He scored six touchdowns last season on 58 touches, and although his career high for carries is only 36, he has at least 20 receptions in the past three seasons.
Kenyan Drake showed serious potential last year as a rookie and managed 5.4 yards per carry and two touchdowns on 33 carries. He only had 4 carries in his first 6 games for 3 yards total, but six carries for 22 yards against the Ravens and the departure of Ajayi make him an option if you can’t secure Williams.